"Hey Roger come with the hunters and I on a pig hunt." Said Jack.
"I don't know." I said.
Uncompromisingly jack said "Grab a spear and come."
"well ok." I said.
I walked up to the pile of the hunters spears and garbed one of them. walking up to the group of hunters I Thought to my self am I becoming a hunter.
"hunters, we are leaving now." Said Jack.
Clambering into the jungle I feel like I want to snivel because I am secretly scarred. further we walk in to the jungle.
"shhhhh" Said Jack
In the bushes ahead their was a big fat pig. Making a blunder mistake Jack tripped over a log making a calmer.
As the pig ran off Jack infuriatingly yelled "bloody hell that bloody pig got away."
I sagely said" next time we should be more covert."
I could see Jack's face turn red ,he turned away from me and we all started walking off in to the infinite green forest.
2 comments:
Jake-
You did a really good job on including the required vocabulary in the right context. But there was almost a little too much dialogue and not enough detail. Also make sure to check your spelling and grammar.
Jake-
You have a lot of dialouge here, which I love. But, it would be nice to see a little bit more descriptions without using dialouge. Keep the dialouge you have, just add stuff in between.
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